Sometimes classy girls do unclassy things.
Just had to remind myself.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Oops, I Did It AGAIN
So, I acted as Cornell's plus one at this little cocktail party. Things went well: I looked great, my hair turned out surprisingly perfect, and he gave me a huge hug at the door when I arrived. And he was once again, wonderfully complementry and funny, as I expected. First stop: the bar. Strangely enough, they decided to serve the cocktails in giant glasses. I remained appropriate, calm, and sober for the duration of the party. But my lack of dinner and four enormous cocktails left me feeling pretty good when Cornell, a fellow coworker and I decided to take the party elsewhere.
We went to a restaurant, where Cornell and I split an appetizer. The boys insisted I have another cocktail, which I somewhat reluctantly agreed to. The other guy, Middlebury, decided it would be a great idea to order shots. Not to appear weak, I took mine like the champ I always think I am. The guys paid the bill and we went on to our next location.
This is where things get fuzzy.
All I can really remember is being in the back area of a bar I frequent regularly. Middlebury was floating around, I stood with Cornell. The next thing I remember is pulling him towards me by his tie and essentially raping him at the bar. Well, maybe not rape. I don't recall him protesting. But quite the classy move on my part. I was hoping my days of sloppy public makeouts were over. Wrong per usual.
Next thing I know, I'm naked and in his bed. We didn't have sex, but we (must have) messed around. I do remember him telling me I was hot on at least one occassion. And I think I tried calling him out on being a player, and he told me that was not true. Oh, the lines I fall for.
Eventually we passed out together, me obviously in no shape to drive home.
I awoke the next morning right around dawn, close to Cornell and needing the bathroom. I got up to go but I figured it was too early to leave so after I flushed, I got back in bed. Unfortunately, I couldn't sleep. Cornell turned over and spooned me for a while, but once he moved further away (and I saw the sun was coming up over the buildings outside), I crawled out of bed. I tried to be sneaky and not wake him, hoping to avoid an awkward goodbye.
My plan failed. Surprise!
I looked around and tried to gather my things, but I could not locate the jacket I had worn to the cocktail party over my dress. Speaking of dress, where was that? I spotted it across the room on the floor. My tights were strewn on a chair, and my coat was carelessly thrown on the couch. Shoes were easy to locate. But I still couldn't find that jacket. Cornell woke up and asked me if I was leaving.
Duh.
I told him about my missing jacket and he told me to turn on the lights. I did, but my jacket remained elusive. As did my black lace boyshorts. I told him I just had to go but he told me to take my shit with me. I told him this jacket was not find-able and that perhaps it was at the bar. He reminded me that I was pretty drunk the night before. Ouch? I threw my coat on, said see ya later (there's that awkward good-bye), and let the door slam behind me.
I was traumatized to be missing this jacket, since I had purchased it only a few days before. I prayed all of the next day for a text that it was under his couch or behind his bed, but none came. I called the bar before making a move. No jacket there. Finally, a little more than 24 hours after leaving his apartment, I inquired. No jacket at his place either. Evidently I threw $98 and my dignity away at the bar. Cornell was nice about it, always great at covering up his jerk-dom. I also told him that the other 'thing' I had left (panties), I wasn't concerned about. He'd figured. Thank goodness I at least wore sexy underwear.
So that was that. I did it again. I got blackout drunk and hooked up with a guy. But this one I actually LIKE(D) and would have definitely TRIED to play hard to get with. That is, had I had 5 fewer cocktails. WHYYY do I always do this to myself? Get wasted, aggressive, and he now probably thinks I am a whore. Which for all I know, he thought before anyway. But he just acts like such a sweetheart. He is still a frat guy, I suppose. And he did go MIA for an entire month. At least I have comfort in the fact that I most likely will never see him again, unless he initiates contact. Of course I am hoping he will, forgiving my drunken antics and for some reason wanting to hang out with me (and my apparently hot self) again. I want to think he actually might like me? As a friend? Piece of ass? Even more unlikely, given the whole disappearing act. I guess my worst fear has come true, and he is in fact, just like that guy who dropped off the face of the earth after getting (at least some of) what he wanted.
We went to a restaurant, where Cornell and I split an appetizer. The boys insisted I have another cocktail, which I somewhat reluctantly agreed to. The other guy, Middlebury, decided it would be a great idea to order shots. Not to appear weak, I took mine like the champ I always think I am. The guys paid the bill and we went on to our next location.
This is where things get fuzzy.
All I can really remember is being in the back area of a bar I frequent regularly. Middlebury was floating around, I stood with Cornell. The next thing I remember is pulling him towards me by his tie and essentially raping him at the bar. Well, maybe not rape. I don't recall him protesting. But quite the classy move on my part. I was hoping my days of sloppy public makeouts were over. Wrong per usual.
Next thing I know, I'm naked and in his bed. We didn't have sex, but we (must have) messed around. I do remember him telling me I was hot on at least one occassion. And I think I tried calling him out on being a player, and he told me that was not true. Oh, the lines I fall for.
Eventually we passed out together, me obviously in no shape to drive home.
I awoke the next morning right around dawn, close to Cornell and needing the bathroom. I got up to go but I figured it was too early to leave so after I flushed, I got back in bed. Unfortunately, I couldn't sleep. Cornell turned over and spooned me for a while, but once he moved further away (and I saw the sun was coming up over the buildings outside), I crawled out of bed. I tried to be sneaky and not wake him, hoping to avoid an awkward goodbye.
My plan failed. Surprise!
I looked around and tried to gather my things, but I could not locate the jacket I had worn to the cocktail party over my dress. Speaking of dress, where was that? I spotted it across the room on the floor. My tights were strewn on a chair, and my coat was carelessly thrown on the couch. Shoes were easy to locate. But I still couldn't find that jacket. Cornell woke up and asked me if I was leaving.
Duh.
I told him about my missing jacket and he told me to turn on the lights. I did, but my jacket remained elusive. As did my black lace boyshorts. I told him I just had to go but he told me to take my shit with me. I told him this jacket was not find-able and that perhaps it was at the bar. He reminded me that I was pretty drunk the night before. Ouch? I threw my coat on, said see ya later (there's that awkward good-bye), and let the door slam behind me.
I was traumatized to be missing this jacket, since I had purchased it only a few days before. I prayed all of the next day for a text that it was under his couch or behind his bed, but none came. I called the bar before making a move. No jacket there. Finally, a little more than 24 hours after leaving his apartment, I inquired. No jacket at his place either. Evidently I threw $98 and my dignity away at the bar. Cornell was nice about it, always great at covering up his jerk-dom. I also told him that the other 'thing' I had left (panties), I wasn't concerned about. He'd figured. Thank goodness I at least wore sexy underwear.
So that was that. I did it again. I got blackout drunk and hooked up with a guy. But this one I actually LIKE(D) and would have definitely TRIED to play hard to get with. That is, had I had 5 fewer cocktails. WHYYY do I always do this to myself? Get wasted, aggressive, and he now probably thinks I am a whore. Which for all I know, he thought before anyway. But he just acts like such a sweetheart. He is still a frat guy, I suppose. And he did go MIA for an entire month. At least I have comfort in the fact that I most likely will never see him again, unless he initiates contact. Of course I am hoping he will, forgiving my drunken antics and for some reason wanting to hang out with me (and my apparently hot self) again. I want to think he actually might like me? As a friend? Piece of ass? Even more unlikely, given the whole disappearing act. I guess my worst fear has come true, and he is in fact, just like that guy who dropped off the face of the earth after getting (at least some of) what he wanted.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Second Time Around
Recently, I went to the city to celebrate Karlene's birthday, along with 20 or so of our closest college friends. Among those was a frat boy who I'd once had a fling with. Not exactly a fling. I had one of those weird nerdy-crushes on him and eventually one night we ended up drunk and in my dorm room. Clothes came off and one thing led to another.
Unfortunately this frat boy, let's call him...iBanker, had too much jungle juice and things just weren't happening for him. I tried to do what I could, but whiskey really had his dick. I don't exactly recall how the night ended. He may have slept over or he may have fled from embarassment. But, not surprisingly, he was often rather awkward when we ran into each other around campus.
But anyway, here he was at Karlene's big 2-3. Janelle didn't go to college with us, so she wanted the scoop on the guys in attendance. She commented on iBanker and I informed her that I had been there, done that. I looked around and tried to set my sights elsewhere.
This attempt failed and after a few drinks, I decided that iBanker deserved another shot. My friend Matilda also said rumor was he was well endowed. And I may or may not have been attracted to his shiny watch and well, title as an iBanker. So I put on my game face, and a few minutes later he was buying me a drink at the bar. Shortly after that, we were making out on the dance floor.
Whoops?
Then I was, alwasys easily persuaded, in a cab en route to his apartment, leaving Janelle and Korey to fend for themselves (sorry, girls). We chatted and smooched and I think we may have even held hands. He waved hello to his doorman and up to his apartment we went.
And OhMyGod was the second time better. We moved around, messed around, and I can in fact confirm Matilda's rumor.
I awoke the next morning, confused about my whereabouts until seeing iBanker's fraternity paddle. He wasn't in bed, so I gathered my things from the nightstand (read: earrings, thong, cell phone) and put my FMP's back on, preparing for the walk of shame. When I stood, it felt as though I had pulled a muscle in my hip area. Successful night? I think so.
iBanker was reading in his living room, and I'm sure it was something far beyond my scope of intelligence. He said he didn't want to wake me up and got up to peck me good-bye. I shut the door to the apartment, and slightly limped toward the elevator. Jacketless in November and wearing snakeskin shoes, I reluctanctly said good morning to the doormen (so much for sneaking out). But as I hid my face and walked to get a cab, I couldn't help but be happy it was better the second time around.
Unfortunately this frat boy, let's call him...iBanker, had too much jungle juice and things just weren't happening for him. I tried to do what I could, but whiskey really had his dick. I don't exactly recall how the night ended. He may have slept over or he may have fled from embarassment. But, not surprisingly, he was often rather awkward when we ran into each other around campus.
But anyway, here he was at Karlene's big 2-3. Janelle didn't go to college with us, so she wanted the scoop on the guys in attendance. She commented on iBanker and I informed her that I had been there, done that. I looked around and tried to set my sights elsewhere.
This attempt failed and after a few drinks, I decided that iBanker deserved another shot. My friend Matilda also said rumor was he was well endowed. And I may or may not have been attracted to his shiny watch and well, title as an iBanker. So I put on my game face, and a few minutes later he was buying me a drink at the bar. Shortly after that, we were making out on the dance floor.
Whoops?
Then I was, alwasys easily persuaded, in a cab en route to his apartment, leaving Janelle and Korey to fend for themselves (sorry, girls). We chatted and smooched and I think we may have even held hands. He waved hello to his doorman and up to his apartment we went.
And OhMyGod was the second time better. We moved around, messed around, and I can in fact confirm Matilda's rumor.
I awoke the next morning, confused about my whereabouts until seeing iBanker's fraternity paddle. He wasn't in bed, so I gathered my things from the nightstand (read: earrings, thong, cell phone) and put my FMP's back on, preparing for the walk of shame. When I stood, it felt as though I had pulled a muscle in my hip area. Successful night? I think so.
iBanker was reading in his living room, and I'm sure it was something far beyond my scope of intelligence. He said he didn't want to wake me up and got up to peck me good-bye. I shut the door to the apartment, and slightly limped toward the elevator. Jacketless in November and wearing snakeskin shoes, I reluctanctly said good morning to the doormen (so much for sneaking out). But as I hid my face and walked to get a cab, I couldn't help but be happy it was better the second time around.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
The Flashback
Remember that frat guy from school, who confessed his love to me? We would chat sometimes, and had amazing chemistry. He was a master of the hot and cold act. Then when I finally let him in and we slept together, he disappeared all together. Just keep that in your mind as you read ahead.
My temp gig ended a little over a month ago. On my last day, Cornell seemed to be sad I was leaving, texting across the office and popping over more often than normal. He said we should definitely get together, etc. So the following week, no longer working there, I boldly made a move and texted first. He responded with his normal wit and once again, suggested we meet up for a drink. I obviously agreed, and that was it.
Three weeks go by. And no word from Cornell, so I deleted all of our past texts along with his contact information so I would not be tempted to try again. And then, out of the blue he texted me, asking me how I was doing. This occurred on a Tuesday. Coincidentally, the company is having a cocktail party on Thursday. I had heard through the grapevine that he was bringing a guest, and I had decided I would not. Because of this, I was prepared for a rather awkward hello and an introduction to a girlfriend or something equally awful. So the texting went on a bit, he apologized for being out of touch with some lame excuse. I continued to delay and then finally he dropped a bomb. He said he was going to ask me to be his +1 to the cocktail party, but heard I was already going.
HUH? So I waited a couple hours and said I could act as his +1. He said something back but I stopped texting.
So he's popped back up in my life. Why? I'm not sure. My head tells me not to be excited, but I just can't help but to remember our effortless flirtation. My work pal was convinced something was going on between us, and while there was nothing, we concluded together that he's probably a bit of a player anyway. I'm definitely glad we can avoid an awkward encounter, but his disappearing act has me flashing back to that frat boy who so stereotypically got what he wanted and was never seen or heard from again.
My temp gig ended a little over a month ago. On my last day, Cornell seemed to be sad I was leaving, texting across the office and popping over more often than normal. He said we should definitely get together, etc. So the following week, no longer working there, I boldly made a move and texted first. He responded with his normal wit and once again, suggested we meet up for a drink. I obviously agreed, and that was it.
Three weeks go by. And no word from Cornell, so I deleted all of our past texts along with his contact information so I would not be tempted to try again. And then, out of the blue he texted me, asking me how I was doing. This occurred on a Tuesday. Coincidentally, the company is having a cocktail party on Thursday. I had heard through the grapevine that he was bringing a guest, and I had decided I would not. Because of this, I was prepared for a rather awkward hello and an introduction to a girlfriend or something equally awful. So the texting went on a bit, he apologized for being out of touch with some lame excuse. I continued to delay and then finally he dropped a bomb. He said he was going to ask me to be his +1 to the cocktail party, but heard I was already going.
HUH? So I waited a couple hours and said I could act as his +1. He said something back but I stopped texting.
So he's popped back up in my life. Why? I'm not sure. My head tells me not to be excited, but I just can't help but to remember our effortless flirtation. My work pal was convinced something was going on between us, and while there was nothing, we concluded together that he's probably a bit of a player anyway. I'm definitely glad we can avoid an awkward encounter, but his disappearing act has me flashing back to that frat boy who so stereotypically got what he wanted and was never seen or heard from again.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
You're Hot Then You're Cold...
Cornell is probably one of the most confusing male specimens I have ever encountered.
Well, maybe not encountered. But definitely the most confusing one I have actually sort of, well...Liked. There, I admitted it. He does something to me. When he walks over to my desk, I can't help but smile. I get excited and animated and even giggly when we interact. And I could just sit and chat with him about nothing forever...Though he tends to make an escape. Maybe it's because he's smart, funny and attractive. And seems to want to get to know me, even asking me my favorite candy just yesterday.
But then, he cools off again. What the hell? Maybe it's just so blatantly obvious I want him that I scare him off. I just really can't help it. I want to hang out with him. Alone. I don't understand, though, why one week he is asking me to hang out and the next he is barely saying good morning. He goes from complimentary to non-existent in mere days.
WHY!?
He's said it himself that he's fickle. Is that it? Maybe he's busy? Doubt it. Another girl? More likely. Freaked out we worked together? Plausible. He did say once he never knows whether or not to take me seriously... So perhaps my obvious flirtations are mistaken for jokes. I really have no clue. And every guy I've turned to for advice provides no conclusive answers. I want to say to myself, "TSF, He's Just Not That Into You" but then he just texts me again with something adorable and I can't help but think that isn't the case.
Korey knows about essentially every conversation we've had and every text sent and recieved. And she is also confused. But then again, has had her own experience with the hot and cold male. What's with that? I can totally get a guy not feeling like talking one day or something. But one day you're offering gifts and the next can't even answer my text? Katy Perry, I totally feel you. And could listen to "Hot & Cold" for days on end.
Well, maybe not encountered. But definitely the most confusing one I have actually sort of, well...Liked. There, I admitted it. He does something to me. When he walks over to my desk, I can't help but smile. I get excited and animated and even giggly when we interact. And I could just sit and chat with him about nothing forever...Though he tends to make an escape. Maybe it's because he's smart, funny and attractive. And seems to want to get to know me, even asking me my favorite candy just yesterday.
But then, he cools off again. What the hell? Maybe it's just so blatantly obvious I want him that I scare him off. I just really can't help it. I want to hang out with him. Alone. I don't understand, though, why one week he is asking me to hang out and the next he is barely saying good morning. He goes from complimentary to non-existent in mere days.
WHY!?
He's said it himself that he's fickle. Is that it? Maybe he's busy? Doubt it. Another girl? More likely. Freaked out we worked together? Plausible. He did say once he never knows whether or not to take me seriously... So perhaps my obvious flirtations are mistaken for jokes. I really have no clue. And every guy I've turned to for advice provides no conclusive answers. I want to say to myself, "TSF, He's Just Not That Into You" but then he just texts me again with something adorable and I can't help but think that isn't the case.
Korey knows about essentially every conversation we've had and every text sent and recieved. And she is also confused. But then again, has had her own experience with the hot and cold male. What's with that? I can totally get a guy not feeling like talking one day or something. But one day you're offering gifts and the next can't even answer my text? Katy Perry, I totally feel you. And could listen to "Hot & Cold" for days on end.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Flattery Will Get You Everywhere?
As you may have noticed from some past entries, I tend to fall for lines pretty easily. Tell me I'm hot? I'll let you buy me a drink. Pretty? I'll most likely make out with you. Beautiful? Let's go somewhere private. Anything even more flattering? Well, let's just say we can stay in that private area. If I've had enough to drink, of course.
But why do I fall for these lines?
I mean, I often find myself thinking in the mirror that I'm pretty attractive overall. I can no longer blame my love handles for my singledom. At the very least, they are not the only reason. So then why is it when I guy I am otherwise NOT interested in flatters me with complete and utter BS, I completely melt? I mean, we all love a complement now and then. But even when I consciously know they are likely insincere, I still manage to hang on every word.
This weekend, I probably got myself in trouble by making out with a frat boy at the bar. He's dated/hooked up with a few too many girls in my (former) sorority. None currently, but still, not my brightest moment. And I was sober (amazingly so). I at first was great at resisting. No, I will not make out with you. No, no, sir. You had your shot. Keep dreaming.
But then he started feeding me lines.
And I KNEW they were lines, so I called him out.
But persist he did.
Ugh.
He just had to reel me in with the "beautiful", damnit.
This is not to say that a calling me a goddess is a surefire way to get me in bed. But doing so can certainly push me over the edge if I'm teetering.
But why do I fall for these lines?
I mean, I often find myself thinking in the mirror that I'm pretty attractive overall. I can no longer blame my love handles for my singledom. At the very least, they are not the only reason. So then why is it when I guy I am otherwise NOT interested in flatters me with complete and utter BS, I completely melt? I mean, we all love a complement now and then. But even when I consciously know they are likely insincere, I still manage to hang on every word.
This weekend, I probably got myself in trouble by making out with a frat boy at the bar. He's dated/hooked up with a few too many girls in my (former) sorority. None currently, but still, not my brightest moment. And I was sober (amazingly so). I at first was great at resisting. No, I will not make out with you. No, no, sir. You had your shot. Keep dreaming.
But then he started feeding me lines.
And I KNEW they were lines, so I called him out.
But persist he did.
Ugh.
He just had to reel me in with the "beautiful", damnit.
This is not to say that a calling me a goddess is a surefire way to get me in bed. But doing so can certainly push me over the edge if I'm teetering.
The Un-Answerable Question
Korey and I, fellow alums, and about 50 of our sorority sisters and favorite fraternity brothers, celebrated our college's homecoming over the weekend. We ended up at a house party, complete with red cups, beer pong, and kegstands. And of course, the usual catch-up conversations.
Korey and I were talking to a former frat boy who once dated a girl in our sorority. He was telling us about his life, his new girlfriend, and trying to explain to us his fondness for philosophy. This was all fine and dandy until he asked us both a question neither of us would care to discuss.
Philosopher Frat Boy: Boyfriend?
TSF: Nope.
PFB: Why not?
WHY NOT? As if I have somehow taken myself out of the dating pool because I cannot find a suitable suitor. Please. I attributed my singledom to laziness, which in all honesty is a partial reason. He agreed and said that being a boyfriend/girlfriend does in fact, require a lot of 'work'. And I haven't the time or the state of mind to devote to a relationship right now. But as always, for the right person I might be willing. Anyway.
When asked the same question, Korey said her singledom was not by choice and that some things just need time. I joked with PFB that we are both too pretty, to which I got a strange look and a forced laugh. No matter.
After Korey and I discussed the weekend in great detail, I could not help but to keep pondering this question. Belinda found it strange that a twenty-something guy would ask this question, and upon my own over-analysis, I agreed. But I still could not help thinking that my answer, while the best nonsensical thing I could think of, was not entirely true or accurate. Meeting someone is problem, as is getting them to actually commit. My two-week track record also presents a roadblock. Or maybe I just wouldn't know what to do, since I have a grave paranoia about being percieved as an over-texter or a pest. Lately, I've been so stressed I'm not even sure I'd want to date me. And I am now 99% sure it is not because I'm not physically attractive. That part just continues to improve while my emotions are toyed with and my stress level mounts. Think that would have been a better answer for the Philosopher Frat Boy?
Me either.
Korey and I were talking to a former frat boy who once dated a girl in our sorority. He was telling us about his life, his new girlfriend, and trying to explain to us his fondness for philosophy. This was all fine and dandy until he asked us both a question neither of us would care to discuss.
Philosopher Frat Boy: Boyfriend?
TSF: Nope.
PFB: Why not?
WHY NOT? As if I have somehow taken myself out of the dating pool because I cannot find a suitable suitor. Please. I attributed my singledom to laziness, which in all honesty is a partial reason. He agreed and said that being a boyfriend/girlfriend does in fact, require a lot of 'work'. And I haven't the time or the state of mind to devote to a relationship right now. But as always, for the right person I might be willing. Anyway.
When asked the same question, Korey said her singledom was not by choice and that some things just need time. I joked with PFB that we are both too pretty, to which I got a strange look and a forced laugh. No matter.
After Korey and I discussed the weekend in great detail, I could not help but to keep pondering this question. Belinda found it strange that a twenty-something guy would ask this question, and upon my own over-analysis, I agreed. But I still could not help thinking that my answer, while the best nonsensical thing I could think of, was not entirely true or accurate. Meeting someone is problem, as is getting them to actually commit. My two-week track record also presents a roadblock. Or maybe I just wouldn't know what to do, since I have a grave paranoia about being percieved as an over-texter or a pest. Lately, I've been so stressed I'm not even sure I'd want to date me. And I am now 99% sure it is not because I'm not physically attractive. That part just continues to improve while my emotions are toyed with and my stress level mounts. Think that would have been a better answer for the Philosopher Frat Boy?
Me either.
Monday, October 26, 2009
The Demotion
Remember Cornell? My work crush? After we hung out a couple times (in group settings) he cooled off. Majorly. Instead of him inviting me places and sending me texts for no reason, I was thinking of excuses to text him or send him a quick e-mail across the office. He'd come over to my desk to say hi or give me a meaningless task to lighten his workload. And when I did contact him first, he was responsive and even complimentary sometimes. But still, I was making the first move by sending the first text or e-mail.
Essentially, this has been a gradual slow-down over the last few weeks, and at first I was enjoying his little hard-to get game. Or made excuses for him. Maybe he was busy at work (which I didn't notice) Or that he was freaked out that we worked together and didn't want to get in too deep.
Clearly I was crushing hard as usual.
But lately, since he's cooled off, so have I. I am realizing that if he's not that into me, he's not that into me. He may have found someone else who resembles his celebrity crush, Taylor Swift. Or perhaps finding out during a game of Never Have I Ever that I sniffed some white powder in college was too much for him. Not sure, but I am (trying not to) lose sleep over it.
I thought maybe there was still a shot. My work here is coming to a close and things will either fizzle and all will be forgotten or he will suddenly reappear. Right? Doubt it.
Last week, before leaving for the weekend he came into the copy room and said, "Bye, Dude".
Dude? Ok, maybe it was an affectionate nickname or soemthing. And it was nice that he came to say bye, right? Actions speak louder than words?
But then yesterday, I was telling him about the awful speeding ticket incident I had over the weekend. And he said, Slow Down, _____. And called me by my last name.
My thoughts? Demotion. To last name. This can only mean that I am no longer an object of desire for him. Even my best guy friends don't call me by my last name and I'm pretty sure they're not looking to get in my pants. So am I special to this dear work boy Cornell? My instincts tell me nope, that I'm just another friendly coworker.
Essentially, this has been a gradual slow-down over the last few weeks, and at first I was enjoying his little hard-to get game. Or made excuses for him. Maybe he was busy at work (which I didn't notice) Or that he was freaked out that we worked together and didn't want to get in too deep.
Clearly I was crushing hard as usual.
But lately, since he's cooled off, so have I. I am realizing that if he's not that into me, he's not that into me. He may have found someone else who resembles his celebrity crush, Taylor Swift. Or perhaps finding out during a game of Never Have I Ever that I sniffed some white powder in college was too much for him. Not sure, but I am (trying not to) lose sleep over it.
I thought maybe there was still a shot. My work here is coming to a close and things will either fizzle and all will be forgotten or he will suddenly reappear. Right? Doubt it.
Last week, before leaving for the weekend he came into the copy room and said, "Bye, Dude".
Dude? Ok, maybe it was an affectionate nickname or soemthing. And it was nice that he came to say bye, right? Actions speak louder than words?
But then yesterday, I was telling him about the awful speeding ticket incident I had over the weekend. And he said, Slow Down, _____. And called me by my last name.
My thoughts? Demotion. To last name. This can only mean that I am no longer an object of desire for him. Even my best guy friends don't call me by my last name and I'm pretty sure they're not looking to get in my pants. So am I special to this dear work boy Cornell? My instincts tell me nope, that I'm just another friendly coworker.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The Cold(ish) Shoulder
Yesterday I randomly texted someone I had "talked to" for a couple weeks over the summer. We got along really well and definitely have undeniable chemistry. But then he kind of ...disappeared for a while and needless to say I was hurt. But I often see him around, at the gym or the grocery store, and I haven't been overly friendly but we chat. He recently bought a house so I've told him I want to see it and what not but otherwise there have been no talks of getting together.
Surprisingly, yesterday he immediately responded to my text and asked if I had plans later that night. I said I was going to the gym but otherwise available and he said he would also be at the gym (not surprising) but would be down to get dinner after. And that he'd talk to me about it at the gym.
I obviously consulted Belinda and Seraphina for advice, and both of them suggested I blow him off after him blowing me off months before. But Korey, always on the same page as me, was just as excited about this possible rekindling. Just no funny business.
So when the guy approached me mid-run on the treadmill, I agreed to dinner later that night. He called a few minutes before I was to meet him and off we went.
He greeted me with a kiss on the lips (uh oh?) and we went to grab burgers and beer. Conversation flowed easily as usual and we caught up. Since I did not want to hook up with him, I laughed when he suggested we go up to his empty office and he said that it'd be hot. I was hoping he'd get the hint, and I think he did. He grabbed my foot under the table when we were getting ready to go, and refused to let me pick up any part of the bill. I thanked him for dinner and he thanked me for hanging out with him. On our way to the car, I had my arms crossed to keep me warm and he started putting his hand around my waist then jokingly apologized. Since he was such a jerk before, I didn't want to give him the idea that I'd be hooking up with him that night. But maybe this move was a bit too cold? I'm not sure. I didn't purposely want to send out a "HAND'S OFF" signal, but I know the moment I let him in I would just let him...well, do whatever he wanted. And I couldn't let that happen. At least not yet.
So we drove back to his new house and he asked if I wanted the tour. I looked at my watch and it was 10:04 PM. I refused the tour, knowing what would happen if we went inside. He said I didn't have to, which I found surprisingly nice. Then he drove me back around the block to my car.
The good-bye was semi-awkward, probably because I had given him a mildly cold shoulder. I couldn't help it, really. But we didn't hug or kiss (I sure didn't initiate) and I said I'd talk to him soon. I wonder now if I was too cold or if my resistance was warranted. I guess I'll thank him again at the gym and see what happens.
Surprisingly, yesterday he immediately responded to my text and asked if I had plans later that night. I said I was going to the gym but otherwise available and he said he would also be at the gym (not surprising) but would be down to get dinner after. And that he'd talk to me about it at the gym.
I obviously consulted Belinda and Seraphina for advice, and both of them suggested I blow him off after him blowing me off months before. But Korey, always on the same page as me, was just as excited about this possible rekindling. Just no funny business.
So when the guy approached me mid-run on the treadmill, I agreed to dinner later that night. He called a few minutes before I was to meet him and off we went.
He greeted me with a kiss on the lips (uh oh?) and we went to grab burgers and beer. Conversation flowed easily as usual and we caught up. Since I did not want to hook up with him, I laughed when he suggested we go up to his empty office and he said that it'd be hot. I was hoping he'd get the hint, and I think he did. He grabbed my foot under the table when we were getting ready to go, and refused to let me pick up any part of the bill. I thanked him for dinner and he thanked me for hanging out with him. On our way to the car, I had my arms crossed to keep me warm and he started putting his hand around my waist then jokingly apologized. Since he was such a jerk before, I didn't want to give him the idea that I'd be hooking up with him that night. But maybe this move was a bit too cold? I'm not sure. I didn't purposely want to send out a "HAND'S OFF" signal, but I know the moment I let him in I would just let him...well, do whatever he wanted. And I couldn't let that happen. At least not yet.
So we drove back to his new house and he asked if I wanted the tour. I looked at my watch and it was 10:04 PM. I refused the tour, knowing what would happen if we went inside. He said I didn't have to, which I found surprisingly nice. Then he drove me back around the block to my car.
The good-bye was semi-awkward, probably because I had given him a mildly cold shoulder. I couldn't help it, really. But we didn't hug or kiss (I sure didn't initiate) and I said I'd talk to him soon. I wonder now if I was too cold or if my resistance was warranted. I guess I'll thank him again at the gym and see what happens.
Monday, October 19, 2009
The Ass Kissers
My friend Janice has noticed a trend among a few of the guys she has recently hooked up with.
They love to kiss her ass. And I don't mean by flattering or complimenting her. They literally enjoy kissing her bum.
The first of the ass kissers was also a beggar. Poor Janice ended up stuck in the same bed as him after a house party, where he begged and pleaded for her to hook up with him. Having very little physical attraction to him and having lost her buzz long before, she refused. He continued to plead and she finally figured she'd make out with him since there'd be no harm done. He begged to touch her more so she allowed him to give her a massage. At some point in the evening, he kissed her ass. So, surprised Janice asked "Did you just kiss my ass?" and laughed at the thought.
Oddly enough, this house party boy is an apparent trendsetter. Following the first one, two more guys have kissed Janice's ass mid-hookup. And she asks the same question each time, followed by a laugh because the idea of a literal ass kissing seems so absurd. But alas, perhaps this is irony? Or does her ass just have a new following? She's thankful she's kept in shape. And wonders if the next guy who comes in contact with her ass will kiss it as well.
They love to kiss her ass. And I don't mean by flattering or complimenting her. They literally enjoy kissing her bum.
The first of the ass kissers was also a beggar. Poor Janice ended up stuck in the same bed as him after a house party, where he begged and pleaded for her to hook up with him. Having very little physical attraction to him and having lost her buzz long before, she refused. He continued to plead and she finally figured she'd make out with him since there'd be no harm done. He begged to touch her more so she allowed him to give her a massage. At some point in the evening, he kissed her ass. So, surprised Janice asked "Did you just kiss my ass?" and laughed at the thought.
Oddly enough, this house party boy is an apparent trendsetter. Following the first one, two more guys have kissed Janice's ass mid-hookup. And she asks the same question each time, followed by a laugh because the idea of a literal ass kissing seems so absurd. But alas, perhaps this is irony? Or does her ass just have a new following? She's thankful she's kept in shape. And wonders if the next guy who comes in contact with her ass will kiss it as well.
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