Boy Friends

Not boyfriends. Male friends. Platonic relationships. Just like a girl friend with some extra parts? Not quite. But a guy who is solely your buddy, pal, amigo and comrade. Call him what you will. But we all have at least one.

My (straight) guy friends are best suited for two things: drinking and dispelling advice on my current boy problems (when such problems arise of course). The answer to my many questions is usually the same. You're great, why wouldn't he like you? Or he's a jerk. The same answers I receive from my girlfriends. This advice always boost my self-esteem, but does not necessarily provide the honest male point of view I'm looking for.

I have recently gotten to thinking about our relationships with guy friends. Some say its easy to have a purely platonic relationship with the opposite sex, while others say it's near impossible. Do they guys we talk about our boy problems with give us honest answers because they care as friends, or in a subconscious attempt to get us to fall for them instead? What about the friends you've have forever, who always have a girlfriend? Heaven forbid you get along great with your friends new flavor of the week. Or the guys you never hang out with one-on-one but always have great conversation with at a party? There are the ones with best friend status, who you're sure you don't like in that way but...what if? The ones who you see in a new light when they have a new flame, or the hot-bodied ones who you know "too much" about to ever fall for.

I don't think I have an opinion on this, but I do think that many times, one of two parties involved in an opposite-sex friendship has non-platonic feelings for the other. One of my good friends often makes innuendos and is incredibly complimentary to me and my two female counterparts. Are we special? Maybe, maybe not. I used to have a major crush on one of my good friends, but I'm pretty sure it was solely because he has an amazing body. There is zero chemistry, plus he's hooked up with at least two of my good friends. If he crushed back, I have a feeling he would have acted upon it.

My final thought is about what happens when you and a friend do become an item. About a year ago (and not long after I stopped dating his friend), a good friend of mine began drunkenly confessing his love for me. Having known his less than perfect history with girls, I often brushed him off and gave him every excuse in the book as to why we'd never work. One of my many excuses was that he slept with one of my rather slutty friends. To make a long story short, I eventually realized that he wasn't so bad after he continuously made an effort. And there was undeniable chemistry. He came to my hometown to see me, took me out to dinner a few times, and even invited me away for the weekend. This game went on for quite a while. There were ups and downs and flirting and making out. But I never let it go farther than that. And when I finally did (sleep with him), it was wonderful. Years of restraint from both sides coming together. I was happy and excited to see what came next.

Until the next day when I saw him and we had an incredibly awkward exchange. I invited myself back to his apartment, hoping we could repeat the night before. He mumbled something and didn't really answer. I even texted him later on that night to see if he had changed his mind. But he still hasn't answered, and that was four months ago. So now I'm not only out a crush, but a friend. Guess I should have stuck with my gut.