Sing it, B!

As my girl Beyonce belts on the radio... "if you liked it than you shoulda put a ring on it". Although few people I know are ready for the ring, why do we as girls need to have validation by a ring or simply a title on a relationship?

I have recently been discussing this issue with my friend, let's call her Rhonda. Rhonda and her current flame have been seeing each other since November. They have hung out every weekend since, talk every day, go on dates, have sleepovers, and do everything a girl would do with her boyfriend. He has gone so far as to tell her that he's crazy about her and can't get her out of his head. But (and there's always a but) when she's asked what they are, he is totally commitment-phobic and says there is a "possibility" they could be boyfriend-girlfriend. And that after it was discussed, things got weird between them for a while.

I have also had this problem with a guy. One I really liked. After a few months, I needed some validation. Granted, I was happy and enjoyed how things were going. But (there it is again) I didn't want to continue on this path if the word "boyfriend" was so taboo I couldn't even use it to describe him in conversation with strangers. Or when asked that ever-s0-common "Do you have a boyfriend?", what was my response? I'd find myself saying "No" but thinking that the answer was not so simple.

I personally got fed up with not knowing whether or not this guy was or was not my boyfriend. And when I brought it up in conversation, the answer was at first that he thought of us as exclusive. But a couple of weeks later, still confused and often avoided, I asked again and was given the "let's be friends" and "I'm not ready for serious". Did I screw it up by pressuring it or was he just not interested enough to date me? Either way, it's over now and I'm happy it is. But that does not leave me without questions for the future.

Is it better to leave well enough alone, and have a non-boyfriend boyfriend? Are we constantly yearning for more? Never satisfied with what we have? Do all girls feel that after some period of time, we need to know where things are going? Why? We're not ready to put a ring on it like Beyonce, so why do we need to call the-guy-you-text-everyday your boyfriend?

And why do guys prefer to have no title? Do they think calling you their girlfriend will change your relationship drastically and you will go from happy-go-lucky Rhonda to Rhonda's nagging, whiny evil twin? Do they figure its easier to cut off communication when the next best thing comes along? I don't know. Neither does Rhonda. But we sure don't like it.