The Work Crush

I recently got a new job. Before I started, I told myself this would be a career move and I would not be distracted by the hundreds of sexy bankers in my building.

The girl I'd be replacing gave me a brief orientation, and I met some of the team members. Including the twenty-something who'd be my new neighbor (as in directly to the left of me!). He stood up, smiled big, and enthusiastically shook my hand.

A few days later, I took over at my spiffy new desk on a 900-person trading floor. I was unfortunately without computer log on information, so I diligently observed my coworker, Avery (who sits to my right). And I began chatting up that incredibly cute neighbor on my left.

I found out in our many conversations that he'd played hockey at Yale and was from outside of Boston. We had a lot in common and frequently discussed the bar scene at our respective colleges. I quickly realized that aside from some very nicely shaped buns, he was funny and carried with him lots of random facts.

Uh oh.

Soon after IT got my computer up and running, Yale asked for some assistance. I jumped at the opportunity to a) help him and b) attempt to prove myself. While explaining a project, he leaned over me, grabbing my mouse to demonstrate where to click.

I pictured the 898 people around us clearing out immediately so I could have my way with him.

The days went on. We reminisced about college, exchanged stories of the weekend, and commiserated over dried-out contact lenses.

While on our way to happy hour one evening, Avery, my boss, and our fourth admin team member pointed out to me that Yale would be perfect for me. Avery heard our day to day banter, and assured me that he liked me. She even said that prior to my arrival, he was often quiet and hadn't talked to many people as much as he talked to me. I laughed it off and said yes, I'd be interested but thought the girls were perhaps reading into him too much. I thought he was just chatting. Was I making a weak attempt to be career oriented?

A few weeks into our gig, Yale got a seating upgrade and moved a few rows over to more prime real estate. How would I make excuses interact with him now?

Luckily, I didn't have to. Whenever he needed an admin task taken care of, he popped right over. He always replied to my standard e-mail messages with an enthusiastic Thank you! Or even a clever conversation starter. During one of his standard visits, my coworker joked with me via IM that my 'boyfriend was standing behind me'. I responded with a 'lol' and said that if he was in fact interested, he could do something about it. Always wise, she then told me he's probably afraid since employees aren't allowed to date within their department.

Of course. Why did I think I'd have a shot?

Oddly enough, this newest Ivy League work crush was beginning to freakishly remind me of my previous crush on Cornell. I had a reason to look fabulous and someone to look forward to seeing everyday. Though with Yale, it was more friendly than flirty (plus we've yet to have an opportunity to openly flirt without numerous people listening). Despite how cute Yale is and how much I enjoy our exchanges, I'm beginning to wonder if these work crushes develop for a different reason than their utter adorableness.

A Glamour article I read discussed how many of us go for unavailable guys. Have I developed these crushes on coworkers because I know (somewhere in the back of my mind) that the odds of a work crush, even a mutual one, leading to anything beyond just a crush are slim to none? Does toying with the idea of what could be actually garner more excitement than if I had a real shot with this guy? Since thinking about it, I tell myself not to bother even trying to flirt with Yale. Really what's the point? We talk about our weekends and I walk (strut) away, trying not to linger for too long.

But then he'll take an unexpected stroll over to my desk to "check on" the project I'm doing for him. Or walk into the kitchen just seconds after I do. Or e-mail me with a question that could have easily waited until Monday. Excuses to say hi? Not sure. But I can't even pretend I'm not crushing when I find my fingers twisting my ponytail and an unusually girlish giggle coming out of me. Whether it's because he's a great guy or because he's unavailable, I don't know. But for now, at least he can brighten up a boring work day.