The Elevator Ride

I work in a 27 floor office building. It's called "The ___ Financial Center" and most of the offices are either financial or law related. During a bomb scare, I once saw lots of sexy men in suits in the stairwell. But never again did I notice them in the lobby.

Today I went downstairs to the deli to grab breakfast. While waiting for the elevator, a rather attractive young man made eye contact and smiled. So I did the same and he said good morning.

We had a rather awkward back and forth "How are you? Good thanks, how are you?" until I stopped that by asking if he was happy it was Friday. We chatted about our upcoming weekend plans until I got off at my floor. He was getting off one floor above, which I believe is where Merrill Lynch offices are.

While we didn't exchange phone numbers or even first names, it was a nice boost to my morning. Perhaps I'll just start riding the elevator at lunch and see if I spy another hottie in a suit.

The Intellectual Pothead

Remember my crazy mom who tries to set me up with coworkers' children? Well, about a year ago she started a new job and the woman who hired her decided it'd be a great idea to set me up with her son. Let's call him Zane. He soon after friended me on Facebook, appeared normal, and we'd occasionally Facebook chat or text but could never find time to meet up.

Friday after work, I was full of energy per usual and rearing to go out. Unfortunately, Porter was gone for the weekend and Seraphina was not up for an adventure, leaving me on my own. Zane and I had chatted via Facebook (as usual) earlier that week and he was also home until further notice, leaving both of us bored and him very much unemployed. So, I decided since I'd be home watching reruns of Friends if I wasn't proactive, I decided to see what Zane was doing. Lucky for me, he responded immediately and asked me if I was feeling adventurous and wanted to go to the fair in his town. I thought this could be an interesting first meeting, so we decided to go for it.

I arrived at his house, unsure of what to expect. He was not as attractive as he appeared in Facebook photos but then again, neither am I. We got in the car and started chatting. He was quite talkative so there were no awkward moments. He enjoyed using words I had probably only seen in the SAT analogies section. Fortunately I was able to at least sort-of keep up and pulled out a few vocab words of my own. Aside from that, I found out he doesn't like to drink much and much prefers smoking. So instead of heading straight to the fair, he asked if I was interested in smoking a bowl. I obliged.

Zane and I took a driving tour on his usual smoking route and I learned even more about him. The one problem was, the more hits I took (I believe there were 3 total) the dumber I seemed to become. He kept talking as before, but I was left slightly confused and somewhat unresponsive. I also wanted to hurry up and get to the fair so I could possibly purchase some sort of snack.

Parking at the fair proved to be difficult so we decided to grab a couple beers at a local dive instead. En route, he asked what type of music I liked and correctly guessed it was dancey-pop. His radio was playing all sorts of stuff I had never heard before, and wouldn't care to listen to again. He also got rather deep, talking about a friend who'd recently passed in a boating accident and how he reacts in crisis. He explained to me that he freaks out over little things but believes he would make an excellent military strategist. Huh? I would likely have trouble getting this deep while not high and the utter lack of any ability to process thought really left me dumbfounded. So I let him go on until we arrived at the mostly-empty bar.

Darts proved to be another challenge. Luckily I had played before (all of twice) so I was not at a complete loss. I did find him chatting still and asking me to pick song on the digital jukebox (I was embarassed and pertrubed about his calling me out on my musical tastes, so I pretended I had no current favorites and let him choose). I drank my beers (paid for by him, though not as tasty as a snack would have been) and threw darts everywhere but the dart board. My darts seemed to have a magnetic attraction to the 18. Irrelevent. Though I also stupidly found myself standing in his way of shooting darts (without realizing) and taking the darts from him when it was not my turn. Was this the weed or merely the fact that I was uninterested in this bar game? Either way, I was getting a bit antsy (and sleepy) and so I tried to wrap it up. He drove me to my car and even suggested we try going to the fair the following night. Sure, why not.

Anyway, it was not an utter failure as one would expect from being set up by Mom. But I'm not sure there was chemistry. A friendship could possibly form if I were willing to play darts in an empty bar or hang out with his townies talking about... God knows what. I guess I'll know who to call if I'm ever in the mood to smoke. But his deep thinking made me feel a bit shallow and like a cliche girl. Which I am totally not. Right?

Platonic Or...?

Since I am grossly overanalytical (and have too much spare time), I've recently been thinking about how I hang out with a lot of guys. Unfortunately, I do not mean romantically. I just have guy friends around here who are always down to party. Luckily, I am not interested in pursuing any of them and I'm 99% sure they aren't interested in me either. I just fear that my frequent hanging out with just the guys is making me one of them.

Don't get me wrong here. I am extremely femenine, dressed to the nines as often as possible. My hair is halfway down my back and I try to rarely be caught without makeup. But I love to have a good time and I'm pretty sarcastic... and I've heard I'm also funny. But that's just me. Do I have to tone it down in order to be liked in a nonplatonic way?

I ask this question because at my new-ish (ok, I'm 5 weeks into it) job, I've developed a flirtation with a coworker. We don't work directly together, but in an office of only about 15 people. I invited him and the other guys to my birthday celebration but none attended, though one, let's call him Cornell, did ask what was going on and texted me etc etc. I thought nothing of it (and had a crush on another guy in the office) until I got a text at 11:30 on a weeknight essentially saying hello. We went back and forth a bit but I eventually passed out. The next day we chatted a bit and I explained to him that my normal happy hour friend was going out of town. And he texted me a few hours after work asking if I was in the market for a replacement drinking buddy. So we made plans to hang out the following night.

I worked late that night and had not heard from him by 7. I was getting worried and I was even tempted to text him to see what's up. Luckily this idea was vetoed by my trusty advisors, Freida and her man-friend. Anyways, Cornell came through and we decided (based on a chat the evening before) that'd we'd go for margaritas. He was with his friends and I unfortunately, lacking enough female friends within a 15-mile radius, begged Seraphina to accompany me. She did, thank God. We met up with Cornell and his three friends and had some margaritas and a laugh. We stayed out until the bar closed and before I even dropped Seraphina off, I had a text from Cornell saying he had a great time. We once again texted back and forth until I passed out.

The thing is, we don't interact that much at work. And it seems we're often talking about partying. I mean, that can't be the only hobby we have in common. Right? One would think. But because I feel like since the work week begun, I've been making the effort. I'm not really sure what to think. I'm sure he's a bit hesitant since we "work together" but I'm done with this little temp gig in another 5 weeks. I just don't know. But I just don't want Cornell to think I'm just a friend.

Effort

Today I asked my friend for advice on where I go wrong with guys. He said since he doesn't see me in relationships or with guys that it'd be a hard question for him to answer. And that he isn't necessarily the best person to ask. I tried to describe a bit to him. I told him that I usually don't text first. I am responsive, and with this particular guy he was normally first to make contact. He'd call and I'd call back.

Oddly enough my friend told me he prefers if girls make an effort at least 30% of the time. I initated a text now and again. But I didn't ask him to hang out. Perhaps it's my poor attempt at playing hard to get or a subconscious way of protecting myself from rejection. But isn't a little hard to get a good thing? I don't want to be that annoying needy girl. How do I find the happy medium? More effort or less?

The Slumber Party

I recently went out in the city with a few of the girls. We were celebrating Rhonda's birthday but the night wasn't turning out to be anything special. Korey, her friend and I wandered over to a different bar than the rest of the crew. Not long after ordering a drink did a young adult male approach us.

This kid, let's call him Rochester, informed us that the day before was his birthday. And in celebration of that, he'd buy us shots. He ordered Jagerbombs for me and the girls and we bedrungingly took them. Though since I was a bit too sober for my liking, I accepted the free drink with open arms.

Somehow Rochester and I started chatting, and I found out we knew someone in common. Of course he went to high school with a kid I knew in college. Korey and friend returned to the bar next door to Rhonda and the rest of the crew, leaving me alone with Rochester. It turns out he works at JP Morgan and actually seemed quite interested in what I had to say. Before I knew it he was asking me to continue this conversation at his apartment. I questioned this, and tried calling Janelle for advice. Unfortunately Janelle had passed out by this point and therefore I could not go sleep at her apartment. And I didn't really feel like trekking to the other side of the planet where Korey and Rhonda were staying.

Rochester seemed to be my best bet. So I forewarned him there would be no funny business and we got into a cab. Had he not known a mutual acaquaitance from college, I definitely would have refused. But he didn't seem sketchy, so off I went.

His apartment was nice and conversation flowed easily. We joked about sleeping on opposite sides of the bed. There were kisses exchanged here and there but I did not allow him to go so far as to even lift up my dress. I told him I was not "that girl from the bar" and that I never go home with strangers. He assured me that he rarely took girls home, had recently broken up with his girlfriend, and that he did not view me as "that girl" at all. We chatted and spooned until dawn began to break, and then passed out for two hours or so. I got up early to leave and Rochester seemed disappointed. He asked for my phone number and I of course, gave it to him but joked that I doubted I'd hear from him.

To my surprise I got a text the next day about what a great time he'd had, and we made plans to meet up the following weekend. Unfortunately, plans fell through and we did not see each other. He called me late night to possibly meet up, and even texted me the next day expressing his disappointment that we couldn't. But I am still stunned by how nice and respectful he was. Though he hasn't contacted me in over a week, I wonder if I should make the first move to say hello. After all, he was nice enough to respect my shot at being prude and have an innocent sleepover. But maybe it's been too long. Once again, I am left confused.

The Graphic Tee

I occassionally help out at my uncle's store and work with my cousin Frieda. I often talk about the interesting characters that come in while I'm there. And one time Porter asked me once if I ever got hit on while working. I had not, and I wasn't so disappointed because normally the crowd is a mix of older people who aren't particularly attractive. So this one morning I decided to wear my "Everyone Loves An Italian Girl" t-shirt in hopes of someone commenting.

There was a 6'2ish, gorgeous tan man with aviators and a red t-shirt wandering through the store. But he went outside and I figured he would be back at some point in the future.

I was working the cash register and had a steady line of customers. I had forgotten about the gorgeous tan man...Until the line died down and he popped up at my register! So I charged him for his giant bottle of water and...he said, "Nice Shirt".

AHH!

So I said thank you. But rather than change the subject, reciprocate the complement, or say anything flirtatious, I made a complete fool of myself. I went on about how Frieda is my cousin and gave me the shirt. So he then asked if we were all Italian, and I said how Frieda was but that my dad was half. So he asked what the other half was but I somehow got distracted with giving him his change (or something) and didn't get the question. And didn't answer. So he said "American?" and I said he was pretty American. Right after saying how my family was Italian American. There was a pause, and he looked at me confused. He then started to walk away from the register, clearly weirded out by my schpiel. I also failed to ask him ANYTHING about himself. And the door was wide open to at least ask him his ethnic background.

Epic fail.

Good GOD. What was going through my head? Clearly being so chatty and awkward was the result of a few too many shots of espresso in my latte. But the shirt worked and I totally RUINED the moment. I mean really, I couldn't have made it more awkward. And he couldn't have been hotter! Granted, I was completely caught off guard. Maybe even nervous because he was damn sexy! I just am appalled that I failed so miserably and ruined what could have been a beautiful cashier-customer flirtation.

Frieda was off that day, so I told her all about this sexual man I encountered. And she thinks she knows him and assured me that he's slightly awkward as well. This was mildly reassuring but did not change the fact that I am apparently incapable of being flirty while... Sober? Overcaffienated? Not dressed up? I don't know. But I need to seriously work on this.

The Name Game: The Saga Continues

As you may recall, I had a one night stand with Joanie's boyfriend's friend from home. At least, I thought it was a one night stand. Until I saw this character the next day (when he called me the wrong name) and then received a phone call from Joanie which he apparently initiated.

Joanie and her boyfriend came back to the East Coast from LA to vist his family for a bit. And they obviously hung out with the Non-One Night Stand.

Apparently after the regular hellos, the first question Non-One Night Stand asked Joanie was how I was. What I was up to, has she talked to me recently, etc. Strange. What's even stranger is that apparently that wasn't it. Non-One Night Stand continued to ask Joanie about me, telling her about how he pokes me on Facebook. Oh, and how he often parouses my profile. I guess Joanie said something about how I have been getting better looking. And Non-One Night Stand said that "She's always been beautiful". He even told Joanie to invite me somewhere he was going.

Time out.

This kid who somehow managed to get me in bed after, say...9 beers and beating him at bowling is now asking about me? Over a year and a half later? And thinks I have always been beautiful? We have met once, and I apparently was not memorable after our one night affair. At least my name wasn't. But what the hell. He tells my friend and former roommate how he pokes me on Facebook? Is this his attempt to get in touch and demonstrate his alleged affection?

This Non-One Night Stand is turning into the never-ending story.

The Fighter

Korey and I recently visited our friend Dario, who's summering in a touristy town. We spent the day at the beach, tanning and frolicking. We got back to Dario's apartment and Korey and I decided this, as our second night out, would be our big one. So Korey put on a new shirt-worn-as-a-dress (sress)and I wore some silly white shorts.

On our way there, Korey was stopped by a stranger who jumped out of his car to take a picture in front of an iconic statue. We attributed this move to Korey's hot new sress. The three of us meandered around the town for a bit until we determined it was time to booze. When we got the bar, the crowd was mixed and included everyone from the super preppy khaki-wearers to rather trashy bachelorette parties. We were somewhat entertained by this and happily sipped our Red Bull vodkas and chatted with Dario.

Late-ish into the night, a skinhead looking character approached Korey. In his attempts to hit on her, he mumbled some words in what can only be described as gibberish. She just smiled and nodded as usual, trying to be nice. The one question she actually understood was "Is he your boyfriend" as he motioned toward Dario. Korey was obviously uninterested in this creeper, so she responded yes.

And then, Dario was suddenly flying across the room. The Skinhead Creeper had made a poor attempt to punch him in the face, grazing his jaw and pulling on his shirt. We ran to Dario through the crowd that had magically parted. He luckily came out unscathed, aside from missing two or three buttons on his dress shirt. Skinhead Creeper was carried out by a few measly looking bouncers while the others held Dario back. Soon all was right in the world again. Mostly. Dario was quite worried that the failed punch to the face would leave him bruised and possibly even with a black eye. But we kept sipping our drinks until the lights came on.

Korey, what have you (and your sress) done!? She rejected a guy and caused an explosion of events. While he was not attractive or even comprehensive, it's wild that a guy would just want Korey so much he finds it necessary to punch her (supposed) boyfriend! I mean, seriously? They barely conversed because she couldn't understand a word he said! Clearly the Skinhead Creeper was just looking to get into a fight. I just wonder if (when we get them) our actual boyfriends would be willing to throw (or take) a punch for us? I'm not even sure I'd want them to. But I'd be curious to find out.