You're Hot Then You're Cold...

Cornell is probably one of the most confusing male specimens I have ever encountered.

Well, maybe not encountered. But definitely the most confusing one I have actually sort of, well...Liked. There, I admitted it. He does something to me. When he walks over to my desk, I can't help but smile. I get excited and animated and even giggly when we interact. And I could just sit and chat with him about nothing forever...Though he tends to make an escape. Maybe it's because he's smart, funny and attractive. And seems to want to get to know me, even asking me my favorite candy just yesterday.

But then, he cools off again. What the hell? Maybe it's just so blatantly obvious I want him that I scare him off. I just really can't help it. I want to hang out with him. Alone. I don't understand, though, why one week he is asking me to hang out and the next he is barely saying good morning. He goes from complimentary to non-existent in mere days.

WHY!?

He's said it himself that he's fickle. Is that it? Maybe he's busy? Doubt it. Another girl? More likely. Freaked out we worked together? Plausible. He did say once he never knows whether or not to take me seriously... So perhaps my obvious flirtations are mistaken for jokes. I really have no clue. And every guy I've turned to for advice provides no conclusive answers. I want to say to myself, "TSF, He's Just Not That Into You" but then he just texts me again with something adorable and I can't help but think that isn't the case.

Korey knows about essentially every conversation we've had and every text sent and recieved. And she is also confused. But then again, has had her own experience with the hot and cold male. What's with that? I can totally get a guy not feeling like talking one day or something. But one day you're offering gifts and the next can't even answer my text? Katy Perry, I totally feel you. And could listen to "Hot & Cold" for days on end.

Flattery Will Get You Everywhere?

As you may have noticed from some past entries, I tend to fall for lines pretty easily. Tell me I'm hot? I'll let you buy me a drink. Pretty? I'll most likely make out with you. Beautiful? Let's go somewhere private. Anything even more flattering? Well, let's just say we can stay in that private area. If I've had enough to drink, of course.

But why do I fall for these lines?

I mean, I often find myself thinking in the mirror that I'm pretty attractive overall. I can no longer blame my love handles for my singledom. At the very least, they are not the only reason. So then why is it when I guy I am otherwise NOT interested in flatters me with complete and utter BS, I completely melt? I mean, we all love a complement now and then. But even when I consciously know they are likely insincere, I still manage to hang on every word.

This weekend, I probably got myself in trouble by making out with a frat boy at the bar. He's dated/hooked up with a few too many girls in my (former) sorority. None currently, but still, not my brightest moment. And I was sober (amazingly so). I at first was great at resisting. No, I will not make out with you. No, no, sir. You had your shot. Keep dreaming.

But then he started feeding me lines.

And I KNEW they were lines, so I called him out.

But persist he did.

Ugh.

He just had to reel me in with the "beautiful", damnit.

This is not to say that a calling me a goddess is a surefire way to get me in bed. But doing so can certainly push me over the edge if I'm teetering.

The Un-Answerable Question

Korey and I, fellow alums, and about 50 of our sorority sisters and favorite fraternity brothers, celebrated our college's homecoming over the weekend. We ended up at a house party, complete with red cups, beer pong, and kegstands. And of course, the usual catch-up conversations.

Korey and I were talking to a former frat boy who once dated a girl in our sorority. He was telling us about his life, his new girlfriend, and trying to explain to us his fondness for philosophy. This was all fine and dandy until he asked us both a question neither of us would care to discuss.

Philosopher Frat Boy: Boyfriend?
TSF: Nope.
PFB: Why not?

WHY NOT? As if I have somehow taken myself out of the dating pool because I cannot find a suitable suitor. Please. I attributed my singledom to laziness, which in all honesty is a partial reason. He agreed and said that being a boyfriend/girlfriend does in fact, require a lot of 'work'. And I haven't the time or the state of mind to devote to a relationship right now. But as always, for the right person I might be willing. Anyway.

When asked the same question, Korey said her singledom was not by choice and that some things just need time. I joked with PFB that we are both too pretty, to which I got a strange look and a forced laugh. No matter.

After Korey and I discussed the weekend in great detail, I could not help but to keep pondering this question. Belinda found it strange that a twenty-something guy would ask this question, and upon my own over-analysis, I agreed. But I still could not help thinking that my answer, while the best nonsensical thing I could think of, was not entirely true or accurate. Meeting someone is problem, as is getting them to actually commit. My two-week track record also presents a roadblock. Or maybe I just wouldn't know what to do, since I have a grave paranoia about being percieved as an over-texter or a pest. Lately, I've been so stressed I'm not even sure I'd want to date me. And I am now 99% sure it is not because I'm not physically attractive. That part just continues to improve while my emotions are toyed with and my stress level mounts. Think that would have been a better answer for the Philosopher Frat Boy?

Me either.

The Demotion

Remember Cornell? My work crush? After we hung out a couple times (in group settings) he cooled off. Majorly. Instead of him inviting me places and sending me texts for no reason, I was thinking of excuses to text him or send him a quick e-mail across the office. He'd come over to my desk to say hi or give me a meaningless task to lighten his workload. And when I did contact him first, he was responsive and even complimentary sometimes. But still, I was making the first move by sending the first text or e-mail.

Essentially, this has been a gradual slow-down over the last few weeks, and at first I was enjoying his little hard-to get game. Or made excuses for him. Maybe he was busy at work (which I didn't notice) Or that he was freaked out that we worked together and didn't want to get in too deep.

Clearly I was crushing hard as usual.

But lately, since he's cooled off, so have I. I am realizing that if he's not that into me, he's not that into me. He may have found someone else who resembles his celebrity crush, Taylor Swift. Or perhaps finding out during a game of Never Have I Ever that I sniffed some white powder in college was too much for him. Not sure, but I am (trying not to) lose sleep over it.

I thought maybe there was still a shot. My work here is coming to a close and things will either fizzle and all will be forgotten or he will suddenly reappear. Right? Doubt it.

Last week, before leaving for the weekend he came into the copy room and said, "Bye, Dude".

Dude? Ok, maybe it was an affectionate nickname or soemthing. And it was nice that he came to say bye, right? Actions speak louder than words?

But then yesterday, I was telling him about the awful speeding ticket incident I had over the weekend. And he said, Slow Down, _____. And called me by my last name.

My thoughts? Demotion. To last name. This can only mean that I am no longer an object of desire for him. Even my best guy friends don't call me by my last name and I'm pretty sure they're not looking to get in my pants. So am I special to this dear work boy Cornell? My instincts tell me nope, that I'm just another friendly coworker.

The Cold(ish) Shoulder

Yesterday I randomly texted someone I had "talked to" for a couple weeks over the summer. We got along really well and definitely have undeniable chemistry. But then he kind of ...disappeared for a while and needless to say I was hurt. But I often see him around, at the gym or the grocery store, and I haven't been overly friendly but we chat. He recently bought a house so I've told him I want to see it and what not but otherwise there have been no talks of getting together.

Surprisingly, yesterday he immediately responded to my text and asked if I had plans later that night. I said I was going to the gym but otherwise available and he said he would also be at the gym (not surprising) but would be down to get dinner after. And that he'd talk to me about it at the gym.

I obviously consulted Belinda and Seraphina for advice, and both of them suggested I blow him off after him blowing me off months before. But Korey, always on the same page as me, was just as excited about this possible rekindling. Just no funny business.

So when the guy approached me mid-run on the treadmill, I agreed to dinner later that night. He called a few minutes before I was to meet him and off we went.

He greeted me with a kiss on the lips (uh oh?) and we went to grab burgers and beer. Conversation flowed easily as usual and we caught up. Since I did not want to hook up with him, I laughed when he suggested we go up to his empty office and he said that it'd be hot. I was hoping he'd get the hint, and I think he did. He grabbed my foot under the table when we were getting ready to go, and refused to let me pick up any part of the bill. I thanked him for dinner and he thanked me for hanging out with him. On our way to the car, I had my arms crossed to keep me warm and he started putting his hand around my waist then jokingly apologized. Since he was such a jerk before, I didn't want to give him the idea that I'd be hooking up with him that night. But maybe this move was a bit too cold? I'm not sure. I didn't purposely want to send out a "HAND'S OFF" signal, but I know the moment I let him in I would just let him...well, do whatever he wanted. And I couldn't let that happen. At least not yet.

So we drove back to his new house and he asked if I wanted the tour. I looked at my watch and it was 10:04 PM. I refused the tour, knowing what would happen if we went inside. He said I didn't have to, which I found surprisingly nice. Then he drove me back around the block to my car.

The good-bye was semi-awkward, probably because I had given him a mildly cold shoulder. I couldn't help it, really. But we didn't hug or kiss (I sure didn't initiate) and I said I'd talk to him soon. I wonder now if I was too cold or if my resistance was warranted. I guess I'll thank him again at the gym and see what happens.

The Ass Kissers

My friend Janice has noticed a trend among a few of the guys she has recently hooked up with.

They love to kiss her ass. And I don't mean by flattering or complimenting her. They literally enjoy kissing her bum.

The first of the ass kissers was also a beggar. Poor Janice ended up stuck in the same bed as him after a house party, where he begged and pleaded for her to hook up with him. Having very little physical attraction to him and having lost her buzz long before, she refused. He continued to plead and she finally figured she'd make out with him since there'd be no harm done. He begged to touch her more so she allowed him to give her a massage. At some point in the evening, he kissed her ass. So, surprised Janice asked "Did you just kiss my ass?" and laughed at the thought.

Oddly enough, this house party boy is an apparent trendsetter. Following the first one, two more guys have kissed Janice's ass mid-hookup. And she asks the same question each time, followed by a laugh because the idea of a literal ass kissing seems so absurd. But alas, perhaps this is irony? Or does her ass just have a new following? She's thankful she's kept in shape. And wonders if the next guy who comes in contact with her ass will kiss it as well.