Holiday Reflections

Christmas Eve is big in my family. My aunt and uncle do a huge fish feast and theres fifty or so people eating, drinking, and being merry. Anyway, my cousins and I reconnect and there is always the ever present question: "Are you dating anyone" or "Are you still with that accountant?" or (my personal favorite - from my divorcee cousin) - "Nice seeing you, Merry Christmas. Next year you better bring a boyfriend!"

Seriously?

I'm TWENTY FOUR! And as much as I love and appreciate my family, I'd have to be very serious with someone to brave bringing them around my loud and opinionated family. It's almost tempting to lie and say I'm dating someone fabulous. But I'd feel like I was jinxing myself if I did that. I just don't get it - can't my new job count for anything? My fabulous outfit? Giant tray of baked goods? I suppose it makes sense, I never bring anyone around. But I'm young! And I told them all how I have a great time. I am certainly looking for someone or something more that what I've had in the past. But I can't force it.

My uncle even asked me today if I'd tried online dating (since he lacked success in the area). Do I reek desperation? Okay, so perhaps I'm yearning for a bit more than I once was. And I'm not entirely fulfilled by my party lifestyle. But I'm not ready to just jump into something with a stranger met on the internet, either. I'm not really sure what I want. I'm not exactly meeting new guys every night. And when I do, it's not very often that they ask me out. And if they do, they certainly don't stick around for very long. I'm not sure if I'm missing the memo somewhere, since I just float through and try to think positive. Maybe I'm boring. Or perhaps its my inability to open up. I don't know. But I sure don't enjoy being reminded on Christmas!