The Graphic Tee

I occassionally help out at my uncle's store and work with my cousin Frieda. I often talk about the interesting characters that come in while I'm there. And one time Porter asked me once if I ever got hit on while working. I had not, and I wasn't so disappointed because normally the crowd is a mix of older people who aren't particularly attractive. So this one morning I decided to wear my "Everyone Loves An Italian Girl" t-shirt in hopes of someone commenting.

There was a 6'2ish, gorgeous tan man with aviators and a red t-shirt wandering through the store. But he went outside and I figured he would be back at some point in the future.

I was working the cash register and had a steady line of customers. I had forgotten about the gorgeous tan man...Until the line died down and he popped up at my register! So I charged him for his giant bottle of water and...he said, "Nice Shirt".

AHH!

So I said thank you. But rather than change the subject, reciprocate the complement, or say anything flirtatious, I made a complete fool of myself. I went on about how Frieda is my cousin and gave me the shirt. So he then asked if we were all Italian, and I said how Frieda was but that my dad was half. So he asked what the other half was but I somehow got distracted with giving him his change (or something) and didn't get the question. And didn't answer. So he said "American?" and I said he was pretty American. Right after saying how my family was Italian American. There was a pause, and he looked at me confused. He then started to walk away from the register, clearly weirded out by my schpiel. I also failed to ask him ANYTHING about himself. And the door was wide open to at least ask him his ethnic background.

Epic fail.

Good GOD. What was going through my head? Clearly being so chatty and awkward was the result of a few too many shots of espresso in my latte. But the shirt worked and I totally RUINED the moment. I mean really, I couldn't have made it more awkward. And he couldn't have been hotter! Granted, I was completely caught off guard. Maybe even nervous because he was damn sexy! I just am appalled that I failed so miserably and ruined what could have been a beautiful cashier-customer flirtation.

Frieda was off that day, so I told her all about this sexual man I encountered. And she thinks she knows him and assured me that he's slightly awkward as well. This was mildly reassuring but did not change the fact that I am apparently incapable of being flirty while... Sober? Overcaffienated? Not dressed up? I don't know. But I need to seriously work on this.