The Awkward One

I once had a rather unsuccessful one night hook up with a fraternity brother. We were flirting then started making out and eventually made our way back to my room. There was touching and feeling and stripping of each others' clothes. We tried to go all the way, but I think jungle juice must have gotten the best of him that night. Eventually I told him there was no point in trying and we returned to the party, which had begun to empty out.

We went our separate ways and acted like nothing had happened, which is not so unusual in the case of such hook ups. I knew I would later encounter him but thought it would make no difference and that communication would be friendly. I even kept this little rendezvous hush hush to avoid the usual gossip surrounding such affairs.

Word got out despite my attempts at being tight-lipped, and my friends often mocked me for this drunken occurrence (clearly not anything new). I laughed it off as usual. But my interactions with this fraternity brother immediately became awkward. We had class together and would occasionally IM each other to mock the teacher. This stopped. He also lived just one building over, and noticed he would no longer say hello with the same enthusiasm as before. If he acknowledged me at all, that is. He'd walk into my friends's room and upon noticing me would be significantly quieter. I acted like all was well, so why couldn't he?

My initial thought is that he was embarassed about his lack of performance ability. Any guy would be, right? At this point I don't even care and he does not even have a notch on my bed post. But the morning after or day after or two week later awkwardness gets to me.

Why are some boys just so damn awkward?

Perhaps they think I regret the night before's antics. Maybe not so far off. But if he thinks he has to wine and dine me to make up for whatever happened, it could not be further from the truth. I do not text him 24/7 (or at all), but does he think I like him? Or that I have become attached after what happened at 4:30 AM? I simply do not understand why going on, business as usual, is so difficult. We hooked up, big deal. We didn't get married in Vegas.