The Fear of Commitment?

I was recently talking to a friend about what will happen when The Single Friend does in fact, become The Attached Friend.

While I often laugh about never wanting this to happen, this is not necessarily the case. This friend even suggested to me I get together with a few of the different guys at the party. I told him the ones he selected were not my type. Which obviously prompted him to ask my type.

Tall? Pretty eyes? Reasonably built? I don't really have a type at all, unless you ask Seraphina and Belinda, who often mock my attraction to the country-club metrosexual. (Read: pastels, polos, khakis and loafers). But this is probably because the majority of the guys at my college dressed in such attire. I gave my friend some BS answer and tried to change the subject.

Luckily the conversation progressed from me onto other things. But I realized that there are a number of reasons I will likely remain The Single Friend for quite some time.

One is that I think very highly of myself. I am truly a catch, so I really see no reason to bother with some sub-standard guy. Call me critical, but I just have incredibly high standards. A man needs to be able to match my wit, have some sort of brain and understand how unbelievably fun I am.

The other issue is that I have an emotional wall that is probably equal in size to the Great Wall of China. I have a difficult time letting people get to know the "real me" versus the "public party me". Janelle has told me time and time again to break down the wall, and I know I will have to at some point. But perhaps the person who can break it down has not come into my life yet. I also have a fear that if I do commit to someone, there is always that chance of something better. Or that, like has happened in the past, when I like someone enough to date them, something will go terribly wrong and I will have nothing to show for my time. I guess I've just got a major fear of commitment.