The Beggar

One night, my friend Karlene and I ventured to the far-away land of Hoboken, New Jersey. There we met up with a group of kids from college. Some, like Lorraine and Callie, we knew well but most of the guys were acquaintances we had seen around but that was about it.

After a few too many dollar drafts, I ran out of cash and had to figure out a way to get myself a beer. One of the guys from school started telling me I had a great ass (which I obviously already knew) and I quickly realized it would be easy to get him to buy me a drink. I wasn't very into him, but I knew I could weasel a few more beers out of him and the compliments weren't so bad. After all, who doesn't like to be told how hot they are over and over again?

The bar closed and we all returned to Lorraine's apartment for the after party. I remember starting to pass out, and then Karlene informed me we were going home. Phew. Unfortunately, "Tony" (whose name I learned from Callie) said he was coming with us. And his friend was going to tag along with Karlene's roommate. What? I do not recall inviting him. Or giving him any indication that this would go beyond a drink and some dancing.

A Path train and a cab ride later, we arrived back at Karlene's. She went to bed with her boyfriend, her roommate took the friend to her room, and I was stuck alone in the living room with Tony. Uh oh. Tired, in desperate need of a Brazilian, and completely not interested in Tony, I attempted to turn over and pass out. Tony wasn't having this. He continued with the compliments from earlier on, telling me how hot I was and how badly he wanted to hook up with me. I kept refusing. And maybe teasing him just a bit by making out with him. But I also had previously decided I was turning over a new leaf, and no longer sleeping with guys after one drunken night. Tony would not hear of this. He insisted that since he didn't know me before my new leaf, I should disregard this idea. I told him this was not my problem.

Undefeated, the begging continued. Tony said he only came back with me "so we could f---". I'm sorry Tony, when did I extend an invitation? At this point I was getting irritated and just wanted him to shut up. So rather than pretend to pass out, I idiotically decided to shut him up by giving him a BJ. The blabbering on and begging did not cease. He wanted to take my pants off (Nope!) and then told me how great I was at doing the job I was doing. I later attributed my "skills" to the fact that he was, for lack of a better word, small. After what seemed like forever, I decided I was over his small-ness and far too sober to keep going. So I stopped and turned over. Tony still did not stop begging and whined that his balls were blue and that I should keep going and blah, blah, blah. I did not give in and finally passed out.

A few hours later I was awoken by light streaming into the living room and two male voices. I felt Tony stir next to me, and heard his friend say something about leaving. I pretended I was still sleeping until I heard the apartment door slam behind them. Hopefully gone and never to be heard from again.

Until about three months later when Tony friended me on Facebook.